About

What’s this about? 📰

Most people think that sexuality is fixed — that it's genetic and predetermined — and who you're attracted to is just a function of being 'born that way'.

However, that's where most people would be wrong.

In my experience, sexuality is fluid. It's nuanced. And it's better conceptualized as a spectrum. If sexuality isn't binary, is it possible to move along the spectrum? If so, how? These questions are neither popular nor easily answered. But they're questions that have bothered me for some time.

Culturally, we're sort of shuffled into two buckets: embrace the idea that 'love is love' OR try to 'pray the gay away'. I’m not really satisfied with either option. Maybe some of you feel the same.

That's really where this newsletter comes in. When labels don’t do justice, my hope is that together we can talk about sexuality in a genuine way while respecting each other's thoughts, values, and experiences — a space for honest conversation without judgment or pressure.

Who’s writing this? ✍️

I'm just a guy that sometimes finds himself attracted to other guys. I'm at the age now where most of my friends are having kids. That's something I've always wanted for myself too — a wife and kids. But for the most part, that's always felt impossible.

How can I simultaneously honor my feelings and my values? How can I have a traditional family when I’m not even sure I like girls? I certainly didn’t choose to feel this way.

I’d like to believe that I’m not a victim of my own circumstances — that I can influence my trajectory. Chart my own course. In this newsletter, I’ll share with you my journey and what I’ve learned so far.

Who is this for? 🙋‍♂️

The newsletter is meant for people who feel confused or troubled by their sexuality. A place where we can connect with others who might also be looking for answers. A place to support those looking for change.

This topic is so contentious. Lot of people have lots of opinions about this. And I get it, I might be skeptical too. But just see if what I'm writing resonates with you. I suspect we have a lot in common.

I wish I could hear your story. I encourage you to comment on my posts so we can learn from each other. Also know that my journey will probably be different than yours. And that’s ok. Come be part of a community of independent thinkers who have the courage to be emotionally honest with themselves.

What can I expect from subscribing? ✅

I post each week, Wednesdays at 3PM Pacific. If you subscribe, you'll get the newsletter delivered straight to your inbox. You can expect original thinking and experiences to help you feel connected as you discover your own path.

I chose this model for several reasons. Email newsletters are the most direct way we might communicate. Social media compromises your privacy and risks censorship.

All you need is an email address. And honestly, you can put a fake one in there if that's more comfortable. I will not sell any information. And there will never be ads or sponsorships. This newsletter is 100% supported by the readers.

I should also add a quick disclaimer. This newsletter is not a substitute for professional mental health care. The views expressed in this newsletter are my own and are not reflective of medical, psychological or pastoral advice. That being said, I believe the newsletter can provide something therapy cannot: that is, being connected with others in the same boat.

I look forward to you joining the crew!